Failure Pile

Put Down the Pitchforks and Pick Up the Corn Dogs

Shit’s been getting pretty real in Portland food media lately. The sudden closure of a two-Becky-owned burrito joint has caused indignant accusations of cultural appropriation (both from the “how dare you, sir” and “what’s the big deal” sides), widening the rift between SJWs and white supremacists. […]

Tater Tots Breakfast Casserole

Oh yes I did, and before you give me that look, let me just tell you that tater tots are basically hash browns and are therefore a perfectly acceptable breakfast food. So lower that eyebrow, you. Besides, this is only one store-bought potato product away […]

Bacon-Grilled Cheese Egg-in-the-Hole

Less may be more, but so is more. I thought it would be a great idea to make a egg-in-the-hole for breakfast awhile ago, but instead of the usual toast with an egg fried into the middle of it, why not use a grilled cheese […]


Quebec may have poutine, but we in Portland have a wondrous thing called totchos. They are effectively nachos, intelligently substituting the mundane tortilla chip with tater tots, and they are as good as they fucking sound. Suck it, Quebec. Totchos have many uses: first, doy […]

Curry ramen with mun-cha’i ya

…or, Phoning it In Yes, that’s packaged ramen. For dinner. See? I can totally phone it in sometimes. And since I joined the Foodbuzz Challenge (as I’m calling it), my posts are going to continue to erode into the hastily-scrawled chicken scratch of a mad […]

Buttermilk spice cake with bourbon-banana compote and toasted marshmallows

…or Having a Laugh (Are You Having a Laugh?) So, we all know that I love to cook, and have demonstrated a fair amount of competence in doing so. Proficiency, even, modestly put. Baking, however, is not my forte. Sure, my galettes are passable, but […]

Cazuela de Chorizo y Queso

…or Mexican Lasagna …or Lowering the Bar This time of year, I usually have to make a concerted effort to pull shit out of the freezer ahead of time so we have some dinner options. Once in awhile, though, I get too ambitious (really, just […]

Because we are concerned about your health!

Okay, I totally stole the idea from Voodoo Donuts, but it’s so good, how could I not? I was in a stupid shittown grocery store that had maple bars and fried bacon in the deli. Two great tastes that taste great together. [Insert Homer Simpson […]

White Trash Delicasies

Work’s been kicking my ass the past few days. I worked ~16 hours today, which included a two hour-long (mediated) fight with a senior coworker, and can’t fathom cooking. Yet I can fathom blogging? Okay, I asked the hubz if he’d consider fixing something to […]