Well, I can’t be a creative genius ALL the time

The holidays are finally behind me, I don’t hafta worry about the thousands of empty booze calories on my daily count, and I don’t need to cook something to impress anyone for the first time in several weeks. Oh yeah, did I mention that my inaugural Royal Foodie Joust lamb dish was being served to a CIA graduate who is a taster for Wine Spectator magazine (I didn’t win, btw, and I was gonna call shenanigans but the guy who won has been around a hell of a lot longer than me and probably deserved it more)?

So I say “fuck cooking” tonight. I would, anyway, except that I can’t not cook. Ever. Tonight’s dinner would have been a big fat sack of boil-in-a-bag failure if I hadn’t gotten a wild hair up my ass to doctor it up. So instead of simply eating this:

…we ate this:

Heather’s Refusal to Just Keep it Simple, For Fuck’s Sake
Serves 2

Ingredients:
a bag of some ready-made Korean laziness you picked up at the Asian grocery store (it comes in many flavors – I also like the spicy squid stew)
1 cup of uncooked calrose rice
2 eggs, fried over easy
maybe a spoonful of gochu jang if you have some, or some sesame-chili rice seasoning or sommat

Cook the rice. Put the bag of Korean laziness in a pot of boiling water for 5 minutes. Put rice and Korean laziness into a large bowl and top with fried egg and gochu jang or sommat. The raw yolk makes gravy when stirred into the hot rice/soup.

Oh, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t totally phone it in.