Fried squash blossoms

Yes, I fucking did it, so get off my back already! Actually, it wasn’t that bad. Contrarily, I might start viewing all foods through the Scottish “these’d be crakin fried” lens now (eh, Kittie?). This will spell ultimate doom for my figure. My muffin tops don’t need any help getting buttered, thankyouverymuch!

I really don’t know why I procrastinated so long. I’m really not afraid of frying, but the leftover oil will have to be dumped into a pile of wadded newspaper and thrown away in the trash so I don’t assrape the municipal water system. (I really hope none of you are actually dumping used grease down the drain!)

My froggy sponge holder is sneering at me mockingly in perfect focus. Froggy and my camera think it’s pretty funny to fuck with me like this, and are having a grand old laugh. You can’t see it in the (terrible, terrible) picture, but I stuffed my little pattypan blossoms with a mixture of fromage blanc, chopped brie (the wedge I bought in July had started growing rind on the cut sides), minced shallot and fines herbs. Just tease the blossom open, stuff a little spoonful of filling in and close the campanulate corolla lobes back together (uh, the “petals”).

The batter is so simple! Don’t waste your money on packaged tempura batter mix – just plain flour (wheat or rice) and ice-cold club soda (you could also use beer, but why waste it?). I also added some garlic powder and chopped herbs to the batter just for shits and gigs.

Next time I would use a fattier cheese (chevre or mascarpone would be creamier), because the fromage blanc didn’t really melt or get gooey – it just doesn’t have enough fat. I think even just the little hunks of Havarti that I originally planned would have worked, but I didn’t want something too heavy, because I made these to go with a peppery flatiron steak, another batch of that corn-roasted poblano pudding (this time cooked in a terrine for easy slicing – having brunch guests tomorrow) and tomato salad.

So I know someone is totally going to make these, take a sunshine-backlit, properly exposed photo and get it on Tastespotting. And everyone will think, “oh, how clever _____ is to make these!” and ______ will get all that sweet, sweet blog traffic and the extra $3.28 from Foodbuzz this month. Not like I’m claiming to have invented them or anything, I just made them with this unique and delicious filling and then photographed them poorly. Which, in the blogging thing, means I may as well have never made them at all.