Shit’s been getting pretty real in Portland food media lately. The sudden closure of a two-Becky-owned burrito joint has caused indignant accusations of cultural appropriation (both from the “how dare you, sir” and “what’s the big deal” sides), widening the rift between SJWs and white supremacists. A prominent restaurant blogger publishes his Best of/Most Overrated list, drawing a veritable Player Haters’ Ball, with people taking potshots at the unsuspecting winners and losers on said list and others grabbing their popcorn and settling in to watch it all go down. Oregon’s Largest Newspaper blithely implies that a local pizza joint uses pot and/or butter in their sauce, and Portlanders can’t decide which allegation is more offensive.

Come on, people.

In these tense, contentious times of Portland food media, I think it’s important that we all remember that it’s just food. It’s just fucking food, man. It doesn’t have to hurt. It doesn’t have to be precious. It doesn’t even have to be good. It’s okay if we don’t take it all so seriously all the time.

Before all this nonsense broke out, I’d written a silly little corn dog power ranking. For those of you suffering from outrage fatigue, I hope you enjoy.